


if I found you, would you let me come and stay?

by wearealltalesintheend



Series: come with me, where chains will never bind you [1]
Category: Voltron: Defender of the Universe (1984), Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Eventual Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, Literary References & Allusions, M/M, basically what happens after the finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-09
Updated: 2017-12-09
Packaged: 2019-02-12 09:32:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12956367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wearealltalesintheend/pseuds/wearealltalesintheend
Summary: "After the fight, Lance thinks.There’s nothing else for him to do, not now. Not when Shiro and Allura and Coran are busy discussing alliances and meeting diplomats and trying to figure out what to do about Lotor. Not when Hunk and Pidge are always hunched over pads and looking over schematics and working on the Lions. Not when Keith-Well, Keith is busy alright.It’s weird and wrong to see him in the Blade of Marmora uniform, it churns and twists in his stomach and sometimes Lance wants to take him by the shoulders and shake him, say that’s not how it’s supposed to be and that’s not what I meant, that’s not what I meant at all."or, the one where Lance mopes, Allura has great advice, and Keith says a few things without saying anything at all.





	if I found you, would you let me come and stay?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [buckydarling](https://archiveofourown.org/users/buckydarling/gifts).



> Dearest,,, Isa,
> 
> Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year in advance because my schedule sucks!
> 
> But anyway, I love you and thanks for putting up with me for another year; you're amazing and deserves the world!
> 
> I hope you like this? It has literary references! and Newsies references!

 

( _why is a raven like a writing desk?_ )

 

***

 

After the fight, Lance thinks.

 

There’s nothing else for him to do, not now. Not when Shiro and Allura and Coran are busy discussing alliances and meeting diplomats and trying to figure out what to do about Lotor. Not when Hunk and Pidge are always hunched over pads and looking over schematics and working on the Lions. Not when Keith-

 

Well, Keith is busy alright.

 

It’s weird and _wrong_ to see him in the Blade of Marmora uniform, it churns and twists in his stomach and sometimes Lance wants to take him by the shoulders and shake him, say _that’s not how it’s supposed to be_ and _that’s not what I meant, that’s not what I meant at all._

 

But Keith is always up and about with his new friends and Lance doesn’t want to bother him, not with this fragile peace hanging over the Castle of Lions, not with the tension from the last few days still coating the air.

 

So, everyone is busy with something important and Lance, well, he tries to stay out of the way, mostly. And with nothing to do with himself, he thinks. It’s a double edged knife, this much introspection; idle hands and all that.

 

His thoughts are always racing, darting from one topic to another, circling and spiraling and tangling themselves. He thinks about Earth, and how he misses his family, and _god_ , they must think he’s dead by now. How long have they been up here? A year? Longer? It’s hard to keep track of time in space, without sunrises and sunsets. Once, he asked Pidge about it, but then she went on a tangent about Einstein’s relativity and time dilation, and he ended up with more questions than before.

 

And sometimes, like now, when everything is too much in the ship and he feels useless standing around on the bridge, he comes to see Kaltenecker.

 

It’s nice. It’s the closest thing to home he has here, orbiting a foreign sun in a quadrant so many parsecs away from the Milky Way. And besides, with the green grass tickling his fingers and the artificial sun warming his face, he likes talking to the cow, she’s a good listener.

 

He tells her about his days and how there’s always people on the Castle now, discussing and arguing over the next move, it’s a little chaotic and disconcerting, and he can’t wait until they gather enough power to wormhole to a planet, so he can stretch out his legs, walk around real ground, feel the wind blowing and-

 

“Heads up,” a voice behind him startles him into falling back to the ground, and Lance blinks, noticing Keith leaning on the door for the first time, “Coran wants milkshakes, so Hunk’ll be here anytime now.”

 

Lance blinks again, “uh,” he says dumbly and the other boy rolls his eyes, “thanks?”

 

“Whatever.” Keith taps his fingers against his dark suit, and Lance feels a surge of annoyance, because _why is he still wearing that damn thing,_ they’re on the Castle, _jesus._ “Why are you talking to the cow anyway?”

 

“Why are _you_ here anyway?” He crosses his arms, “aren’t you supposed to be _training_ now?”

 

Because god forbid Keith do anything other than train and sulk. Lance bets that’s all he did undercover. Sulk and beat dummies. And be extra moody, ‘cause there would be no one around to make fun of him and annoy him out of his brooding.

 

“Why am I- nevermind.” Keith frowns, sighs, shakes his head. “Why do I even bother.”

 

Keith leaves after that, and Lance feels like he just missed something important.

 

In the silence, Kaltenecker moos sympathetically.

 

***

 

He doesn’t see Keith for a few days after that, which is almost impressive considering that _fine,_ the Castle is big, but come on, it’s not _that_ big. But then again, his avoidance game had always been strong.

 

So, Lance would be impressed, if it didn’t leave him restless and itching underneath his skin, always at the edge of his consciousness. It’s like-

 

It’s like Lance is trying to solve a puzzle without all the pieces. It gives him a vague idea of what’s supposed to be, but there’s always something missing, because he doesn’t know what he screwed up this time. And- it’s driving him up the wall.

 

That’s how he finds himself wandering down to the training room; boredom and bottled up energy is never a good mix for him. And, well, if the mountain won't come to Muhammad, then this Muhammad _will sure as hell go to the mountain._

 

And it’s almost comforting how it seems not everything changed during Keith’s super secret _“too cool for you_ ” mission, because as soon as he rounds the corner he can hear the clashing of the training swords and finally something feels _normal_ around the Castle.

 

Except.

 

When he does stop at the door, sure enough, Keith is there, sword in hand and looking like he’s been training for some time now. But. It’s not the Gladiator he’s fighting. It’s someone still using that damned black and purple suit, and _would you look at that_ , he’s even _laughing_ now.

 

Something bitter and acid curls in his stomach and Lance has to look away, because yeah, maybe not much changed, but some things did.

 

There’s a dull thud and a snort, followed by another thud and a sudden bout of laughter, and Lance wants to hit something. There’s a fire boiling his blood and scorching his ribcage, and he doesn’t really understand but maybe he doesn’t have to, because Keith is laughing and having _so much fun_ with his new friends, so yeah, why bother.

 

Everyone is busy with something these days, and Lance is getting tired of trying to keep up.

 

***

 

_( “Have you guessed the riddle yet?” the Hatter said, turning to Alice again._

 

_“No, I give it up,” Alice replied: “What’s the answer?” )_

 

***

 

_Fine._

 

He may have overreacted yesterday. But come on, they have been cooped up in this castle of a ship for too long. It’s starting to get to him.

 

So, he’s willing to give it another shot. For the sake of the tentative friendship they had been building before this whole Blade business. He’s magnanimous like that.

 

Today, he knows, if Keith is keeping to his old schedule, is already too late for training. He’s probably already showering or sniffing in the kitchen for food.

 

Because, you see, Keith is stupid like that. He’ll eat a light breakfast because he _needs to train_ and _of course he’ll be fine until lunch, you idiot_ . But then training will be over and the dumbass will come, all blank scowls and fake nonchalance, and start snooping around cabinets and the goo machine. Which is _so dumb_ because _jesus fucking christ_ , he _knows_ Coran turns it off between meals when they’re in deep space and no way there’ll be leftovers because Pidge is a growing teenager, she needs her calories, all right.

 

And that’s _so stupid_ because it means the idiot will be hungry for another hour and a half _at least._

 

And how does Lance know that, you ask?

 

Well, buckle up, because it’s _story time, motherfucker._

 

***

 

The date. Three months into their dangerous and daring space odyssey.

 

The place. Their humble yet cozy kitchen of the Castle of Lions.

 

‘tis a fine morning in space; no Galra ships in sight or distress signals to track. It’s just them and parsecs and parsecs of the vacuum of space, everything light-years away.

 

And Lance?

 

Lance is chilling, okay? He deserves a break, the last few days had been hectic to say the least.

 

So, Lance is chilling in the rec room, sprawled in the couch and humming a classic. Fuck yeah, Lady Gaga.

 

Anyway, he digresses.

 

The thing is, he’s finally relaxing when there’s a muffled crash from the kitchen.

 

Now. He’s not usually jumpy or paranoid. No, he’s really not. But. Well. The castle- it _did_ try to kill him only like, a week ago. He’s entitled to some lowkey paranoia when weird shit starts happening and did they _really_ figure out if it’s haunted or not? Also, why is he _always_ alone when it happens? Can’t the mysterious yet ominous sounds wait until Pidge and Hunk are done tinkering with the Lions? Or Shiro and Allura come back from whatever strategy thing-

 

There’s another crash, this time followed by a colorful curse. Honestly, Lance can relate.

 

He sighs. He’s gonna have to investigate it, isn’t he? Damn it. He’s cuban, he doesn’t want to be the white guy on every horror movie and _die_ because he is _dumb_ enough to go see what’s going on. But he can’t very well let a possible threat go unchecked, right?

 

With another heavy sigh and muttering prayers under his breath, Lance drags himself out of the couch and tiptoes to the kitchen.

 

Then, he starts laughing.

 

It’s not a ghost alright.

 

In the middle of the room there’s Keith, covered in green goo and black oil, glowering at the food machine like it personally murdered his puppy and then ran over his kitten. The hose twitches. He kicks it with vengeance and curses again.

 

Lance doubles over in laughter. Keith whips his head around, noticing him there. Lance laughs harder. Keith glares. Green goo drips from his hair to the front of his t-shirt. Lance transcends to another plane of existence, because what the fuck _this is too good._

 

“Not. A word.” Keith grits out, “I swear to god, Lance-”

 

“Sorry, sorry- I just,” he tries to sober up. It lasts about a second. “your face- I can’t- how did you even- _dude!”_

 

He ducks behind the counter as a bowl flies past his head. Lance hiccups, tries to swallow down his giggles. “Come on, man,” he tries again, “what’s up with the goopocalyse?”

 

“ _Lance.”_ There is murder implied in that word and it sends him into another fit of laughter, “if you don’t get the hell out _now_ , I _will_ stab you.”

 

And hey, Lance never said anything about self-preservation instincts, so instead of fleeing, he walks carefully into the goo zone, “sure thing, slimey.” He dodges again as Keith tries to throw another bowl, “fine, fine. Now, what the heck happened here?”

 

Keith scowls, crosses his arms, grunts unhappily.

 

“Use your words, buddy.”

 

The scowl reaches epic levels of grumpiness. “I wanted food. The machine is broken.” He pointedly glares at the hose, “I tried to make it work.”

 

“Oh my god,” Lance giggles, “did you try to fix it? _Dude_ , bro, it’s not broken- Coran turned it off to save up energy. You didn’t know? Oh my god, I need to take a picture- Pidge’s never gonna _believe_ me- _Ouch!”_ This time the flying spoon hits him in the forehead.

 

“If you’re going to stand here like an idiot, help me clean up this stuff,” Keith glares and pushes a mop into his hands, “asshole.”

 

Lance looks up, catching the boy grumpily begin to mop the floor himself, but his lips are curling upwards at the edges in a way that if Lance didn’t know better, he might think is a smile. There’s still green goo drying on Keith’s hair and t-shirt, and he looks absolutely ridiculously. Something warm curls around his heart and spreads all over his bloodstream, his lungs struggle to get enough air. He blames on trying to contain his mirth.

 

It takes another half an hour and Keith constantly kicking his shin for him to finally manage to quiet his giggles.

 

Then, in the silence that follows, Keith’s stomach grumbles.

 

This time Lance doesn’t even try to cover his laughter.

 

***

 

So, yeah. Keith is an idiot who doesn’t know how to look after himself.

 

And Lance is _not_ an enabler, _he’s not_.

 

Did he leave the granola bar thingie he found on the last planet they'd been on Keith’s door after the goo incident? Yes, but it’s not like he could leave the guy starving alone. What if he passed out or something? Then Shiro would make those sad eyes and say his name on that disappointed voice and Lance would feel like the worst person ever.

 

Did he start leaving leftovers for Keith on the fridge? Well, yeah, but it’s like he said, he’s just saving everyone from Shiro’s Disappointed Dad **TM** mode. And besides, it’s not like he had been _saving_ food for him or anything, it’s just- it’s just leftovers okay? He’s being the bigger person here.

 

 _Anyway_.

 

Again it seems that old habits die hard, because Lance can hear soft sounds floating from the kitchen, muffled clank of pots and pans, cabinets opening and closing.

 

“Whatcha doin’?”

 

Keith jumps at the question, dropping the bowl he had been holding. Lance smiles, because there’s no purple today, just his normal, everyday, adorable grumpy face. Wait. No. Bad, bad Lance. Not adorable. Dorky. Yeah, dorky’s better.

 

Jesus, he needs to get out of this castle. He’s getting cabin fever here.

 

“None of your business.” Keith replies, going back to the cabinets, “go away.”

 

“ _You_ go away.”

 

“I was here first!”

 

Lance is about to answer when Shiro walks in, cutting through their argument, voice tired and wary and amused, “children, children, that’s enough. Play nice.”

 

“Hey, how's it going with the coalition?” Keith sets the spatula he had been holding for no apparent reason down, “what are we doing about Lotor?”

 

The Black Paladin drops in one of the kitchen chairs, groans, “we don’t know yet. D’you know how hard it is to get eleven different leaders to agree in one thing?” Both paladins shrug apologetic, “ _extremely._ ”

 

“There, there,” Lance comes to pat him soothingly in the shoulder, “I’m sure you and Allura will convince them to kick his stupid face away. Nothing to worry, O, fearless leader.”

 

“I hate to agree, but Lance is half right,” Keith sits down in the opposite chair, “you guys will find a way. And Kolivan will back your decision, that has to count for something.”

 

“And it does,” Shiro blinks, “if you’re right about this-”

 

“I am. Myrx and I talked with Kolivan, the Blade of Marmora will stand beside you.”

 

“Then that’s great news, Keith. With the support from the Blade, maybe we can convince those still undecided- ”

 

Lance backs away as Shiro goes on, looking a lot more optimistic and Keith nods along, shoulders relaxing and offering comments now and then.

 

He watches the duo for a moment longer before feeling like he’s intruding in something private, and deciding to leave them to catch up on their own.

 

And if he leaves a few of the cookies Hunk had made earlier on the table, well, it’s for no reason at all.

 

***

 

( _“I haven’t the slightest idea,” said the Hatter_ )

 

***

 

Lance isn’t moping. When he runs into Allura later in the day, he isn’t moping.

 

“I’m not moping.” He tells her, “I’m not.”

 

“I didn’t say you were, Lance,” the princess laughs, “I merely asked why you were hiding here with the Lions. Which you still haven’t answered me.”

 

A defeated sigh. “I’m not hiding either. It’s just. You and Shiro are busy with the politics, and Hunk and Pidge are working in something sciency and very smart ‘cause they are awesome. And I had nothing to do, so.” He shrugs.

 

“I see, we are all very busy, that is true, but what about Keith?”

 

“Oh. I. He’s always with the Blade these days and I don’t wanna bother him.”

 

Allura huffs, “bother? Aren’t you friends? Surely, after so long apart he’ll be delighted to spend time with you!”

 

“It’s more complicated than that, princess,” Lance scratches his head, “we were rivals first, and you know, things changed, but then he left-”

 

“And when did it change between the two of you?” The princess sounds genuinely curious, the mice scurry around them excitedly.

 

Lance stops, thinks back. When _did_ it change? He can’t pinpoint it exactly, but he _can_ say when they acknowledged it. “Well, remember when we visited Vazgar?”

 

***

 

Planet Vazgar is a beautiful place. It’s all soft, green grass and cloudless, blue sky and an endless maze of caves.

 

The people of Vazgar are friendly and boisterous, and more than happy to welcome the paladins. They are tall and hunched over themselves, with skin almost translucent after spending all their lives out of sunlight. Their capital, and their whole civilization, is located inside the cave system; everything is connected in a way.

 

It takes one look inside for Lance to understand why. The walls of the caves are littered with crystals. They cover every surface, painting a rainbow of colors and glinting in the low light. It’s breathtaking and mesmerizing and something twists inside his chest when Lance turns to look at Keith. He tries not to think about it, or why he had the urge to say something in the first place.

 

The capital is in the heart of their underground system, and mostly filled with green gems and adorned with something that shines a lot like gold. It’s Emerald City and Lance is giddy with wonder. In his head there’s the echo of his _abuela_ reading him a worn out book, with yellowed pages and wrinkled corners, and yeah, _there’s no place like home._ In his ribcage, longing settles in the space between his bones and fondness curls around his heart, it’s bittersweet and aching and a sad kind of wonderful.

 

And then, Shiro and Allura dismiss them to explore the place with a warning of _stay close, don’t wander off too far, be careful._ And so, as the story goes, Lance follows the yellow brick road to somewhere over the rainbow, humming along and paying no attention at all.

 

And that’s how he breaks all three warnings, walks away and gets hopelessly lost.

 

Lance walks for hours through dozens of tunnels before running into Keith. The Red Paladin looks just as lost, a frustrated frown firm in place and a glint in his eyes that Lance knows means he’s ready to punch a hole in the wall.

 

“Hey, fancy meeting you here.”

 

“Don’t even start,” Keith frowns deeper, “you’re lost too.”

 

“Well, you got me there,” he grimaces, sinking to the floor and resting against the rocks, “but I do prefer the term _momentarily misplaced_.”

 

Keith rolls his eyes, but sits beside him, staring at the gems in the opposite wall. “How long until they notice we’re gone?”

 

Lance pauses. He’d been walking for a while. Maybe two hours trying to retrace his steps. Negotiations didn’t look like would take too long, not with the way the Vazgarians were smiling at Shiro and Allura and all the colors in their armors. They probably thought Voltron was their god or something; it wouldn’t be the first time. “Uh. I bet they’re already looking. Hopefully. Did you tell anyone before sulking off to the sunset?”

 

“You’re an idiot,” Keith doesn’t miss a beat before continuing, “last I saw them, Hunk and Pidge were bullying some aliens into selling them their tech.”

 

“Damn it, if they’re distracted by space nerdiness, they’re never gonna notice we’re gone.” Lance slumps further, fiddling with his hoodie, “Allura and Shiro are our last hope.”

 

“Don’t be dramatic,” there’s fondness in his voice, “this is like, the least threatening situation we’ve been in months.”

 

“Shhh,” he frantically slaps a hand on the other boy’s mouth, “ you’re going to jinx it!”

 

Keith bats his hand away with an annoyed sound, “whatever, we just have to wait. And don’t do anything stupid. They will be here soon. Anytime now.”

 

“Hey, _you_ ’re the hotheaded!” Lance interrupts hotly, and yeah, he’s aware of the irony of that statement, “and if they don’t find us soon, I’m calling dibs on the cave bugs.”

 

“Lance.” Keith says in that strained voice he uses when he thinks Lance is being particularly idiotic and he doesn’t even know where to begin, “we’re not eating the cave bugs.”

 

“Uh, you sure ain’t, Mullet Boy, ‘cause I just called dibs.”

 

“They could be poisonous for humans. Also, that’s disgusting.”

 

“Oh please, peanuts can be poisonous for humans but that doesn’t stop us from making butter out of it.” Lance almost smiles thinking of Pidge,” also, say that again when your stomach starts digesting itself.”

 

“Sometimes I wonder how you’re still alive.” Keith sighs, “we’re not going to be stuck here that long, dumbass.” He looks over when there’s no reply from Lance, “you know that, right? There’s no way no one’s already looking for you- ”

 

“Us.”

 

“ -what?”

 

“They’re looking for us, not just me, Keith.”

 

“Oh. I mean, Shiro’s busy so-’

 

“No. _No._ ” Lance says firmly, “if we’re going to be stuck here, you’re not allowed to say bullshit. Nope. This is a bullshit free zone. Hunk and Pidge will notice both of us are gone because we’re both part of this family and _you will have to deal with it_ , you hermit crab.”

 

He nailed it. Lance nailed it, he knows. Keith will be forever thankful of him for showing him the light, there’s absolutely no way this can backfire on his face, this time he _nailed it_ and-

 

“No, you know what,” Keith shoves him and turns all the way to look at him fully, and boy, does he look pissed- Lance is _so confused right now_ \- “screw you, Lance. You can’t just announce we’re rivals and go out of your way to annoy the crap out of me _everyday_ , and then just- just say stuff like that! Either hate me or, or I don’t know, like me or whatever, just, just make up your damn mind, ‘cause your mood swings? I’m getting whiplash here and, and. Screw you.”

 

Oh boy. “Oh boy.” _Oh boy._ “Okay, screw me, right. I mean, _no_ , don’t screw me. Right. Okay. _So,_ I don’t hate you? Not really? I’m sorry you thought I did. Because I don’t. Hate you, that is. You’re not that bad, I mean, I’m glad you’re here now. Mostly. You still can’t have my bugs, though. Fine, maybe one ‘cause you’re bitchy when you’re hungry- we, civilized humans, call it being hangry, you should write it down- anyway, bottom line is, I don’t hate you and I’m sorry but I’ll probably still annoy you everyday, it’s too late now to break the habit.”

 

Lance takes a deep breath, there’s a blush creeping from the back of his neck and he hopes it’s dark enough in the tunnel to hide it. Listen, he’s really bad at the whole heart to heart thing, seriously, Shiro should be the one doing this, damn it. And why isn’t Keith saying anything? Is that good? Or is that bad? Should he hug the dude? No, that’s a terrible idea, he would get punched in the face before he could say _bonding time_.

 

“I don’t think you could not annoy me even if you tried, Lance.” There’s, there’s fondness there, he’s sure, and is that a blush? Nevermind that, is that a _smile_? “But it can be fun sometimes. Barely. Sorry for snapping at you, you’re not that bad either, Cargo Pilot.”

 

“ _We agreed not to talk about that, asshole!”_

 

This time Keith laughs and it echoes around them, and Lance can’t help giggling along, it’s infectious and for one, dangerous second he thinks he might do anything to hear it again. Lance buries that thought viciously with the warm feeling swallowing his heart. He allows the relief to pour over and basks in how normal it feels again, they can totally pretend this conversation never happened, it’ll be great.

 

“It’s actually kind of pretty here, isn’t it?” Keith hums quietly, “Allura says we can’t pronounce the name in the native tongue, but it roughly translates to Jewel City, kinda like that city in Wizard of Oz, with the yellow bricks and green shit, you know?”

 

“Emerald City, you mean?” Lance gapes, “how can you not know that, you tin man?”

 

“Hey, it’s been awhile since I read it. _Dorothy_.”

 

“You say it like it’s an insult but joke’s on you, I’ll wear it like a badge.”

 

_“Some people without brains do an awful lot of talking, don't you think?”_

 

“No, what? You don’t know the name of the city but you can quote the book word by word? I call bullshit, and,” he tries to glare, “as previously announced, this is a bullshit free zone. You can’t fool me; you, Keith Kogane, _are_ a dork.”

 

“Hey, you don’t get to make fun, you recognized it!” Keith is blushing again but there’s fierceness back in his eyes, and Lance knows they’re going to be fine, “it’s a damn good book. And the songs are catchy.”

 

“Oh my god,” Keith just broke his brain because _holy shit,_ “oh my god. I’d pay to see you singing it. Oh my god. Please, Keith, I’ve never asked you anything before!”

 

“Literally yesterday you asked me to distract Shiro so you could steal one of Hunk’s new cookies”

 

“He did nail the chocolate chips with the new recipe.”

 

“He really did.” Keith hums in agreement, “but then you dropped the plate and the mice stole them all. Actually, I think Allura told them to.”

 

“Shit, you right.” Lance gasps, “why, Tin Man, it looks like we can get along pretty well!”

 

“You’re ruining it, Lance, stop.”

 

“It’s okay,” he sighs patiently, pats the other in the knee, “when we find the Wizard, he’ll get you a heart and you’ll be a real boy soon.”

 

Keith huffs, “I take it back, please, Lance, do eat the cave bug.”

 

Lance laughs, but before he can answer there’s sound of rushed footsteps coming from their right and the team is stumbling into them, all out of breath and worry lines carved in their faces. “Hey, you found us!” He turns to Keith, smug smile in place, “told ya, Moody Mullet. Oh, hey how _did_ you find us anyway?”

 

“Well,” Pidge starts, “you hadn’t been bugging us for almost an hour-”

 

“And there was no fights or commotions or diplomatic incidents,” Hunk adds, “so you couldn’t be with Keith-”

 

“ -and we hadn’t seen Keith in awhile either-”

 

“-so we started looking around, but then Shiro and Allura showed up-”

 

“ -and that’s when we actually launched a search party.” Pidge adjusts her glasses, “you’re lucky we heard your bad flirting.”

 

And Lance sputters and flushes, but Keith is laughing along and it’s still beautiful and it still feels like a privilege to hear it, so he plays along and basks on the warmth of the feeling. Around him, the crystals glint and cast a rainbow of colors, and Keith’s eyes are a kaleidoscope in this light, catching his gaze and trading an honest smile, and Lance almost wishes the team had waited just little longer.

 

In Gem City they turn the tide.

 

***

“I see,” Allura smoothes down her dress, “I do remember the both of you getting along a lot better after that mission.”

 

“Yeah, it’s like, I don’t know,” Lance runs a hand through his hair, “we knew we were friends after that.”

 

“But that’s not all there is to it, is it?” The princess presses gently, eyes soft and understanding and far too knowing, “is that all you feel, friendship?”

 

“I guess not,” he sighs, feeling a blush burning on his cheeks, “you know, I think I only realised it after he left.”

 

***

 

It’s almost like the Castle is really haunted. This ghost is everywhere, following Lance around.

 

It’s in the training deck in the morning, eerily empty without the sounds of clashing swords and the whirring of the Gladiator.

 

It’s in the kitchen, pristine clean, no open cabinets, no bowl in the sink. The leftovers from breakfast sitting untouched in the fridge, the chocolate muffin still hidden on the oven, the granola bars forgotten on his bag. Lance catches himself saving one of Hunk’s new jam sandwich one morning, thinking that yeah, Keith, with his ridiculously sweet tooth, would love it. He puts it down and passes it to Pidge without a sound.

 

And it’s in the missions too, a phantom limb itching whenever they fly in formation. Red is great, she’s fast and fierce and Lance loves her wholeheartedly, and Allura is doing great with Blue, too, she’s unlocking things he didn’t know possible, and they all form Voltron as always. But. It’s different. There’s no surge of anger or recklessness, the adrenalin thrumming in his veins is his own, and he kinda misses the bickering back and forth, wants to turn and say _bet I can kick more Galra ass than you_ , but no one else will raise to the bait.

 

And Red feels it too, he knows. Sometimes Lance feels melancholy and fondness and worry brushing against his mind, softly intertwining with his own longing, and if he closes his eyes, he can almost see a flash of violet behind his eyelids.

 

This ghost is filling up the space Lance didn’t even know was vacant. It’s like- He didn’t think he’d miss him this much, you know?

 

And it’s so stupid, because _of course._

 

But don’t get him wrong, he knows Keith had to do it, had to try and look for his family, Lance _understands_ , but- but he can’t let go of the nagging feeling it’s not just that. He thinks of the look on Keith’s face when they talked about the team, about how _Lance_ was feeling left out and _holy crap_ , he didn’t even stop to think about how _Keith_ would feel.

 

He thought he’d have more time. Just a little longer to try and explain-

 

It’s not how he thought it would go. He had prayed for some magical solution for it, come on, they’re on a flying castle piloting giant lion robots, he just wished for _one more miracle._

 

But now there’s a ghost following him around, and Keith is _gone_. No communications. Zip. Nada.

 

Some nights Lance lays in bed and opens the galaxies maps, stares at the multitude of constellations, at all those planets scattered across the universe, and wonders where the Blade is now. Are they close? Or so far away their signal would take years to reach?

 

Things like time are unnecessarily complicated here in outer space.

 

So yeah, it’s dumb and cliché, but it takes Keith walking out the castle doors in that stupid black and purple uniform, a determined smile in place, for things to finally clear in Lance’s head. And it doesn’t come with a jolt of surprise or sudden epiphany, it’s just familiarity and recognition, because _of course it’s like that_ , how could it be anything else?

 

But there’s a war going on out there somewhere, and Keith isn’t here.

 

***

 

Allura smiles soothingly, pats his knee, “it’s going to be fine, Lance,” she says, “let me and Shiro worry about the politics, and you worry about Keith.”

 

“But, here’s the thing princess, I’m not sure Keith wants me to worry about him,” he mumbles, more to his shoes than to her, “I’m not sure Keith wants anything to do with me at all, not anymore.”

 

“Oh, Lance-”

 

“No, really, he doesn’t have to put up with me anymore, he has his new buddies from the Blade and, and. I’m just, I’m not- I don’t-”

 

“Lance.” Allura says firmly, “the Blade soldiers may be his companions for now, but we are his family, this will never change, do not forget that.” She smiles, but there’s an edge to it, “and make sure he doesn’t either. He will always be family, but sometimes, sometimes I think he needs to be reminded of it”

 

“I, sure, I guess,” Lance thinks of the terrifying few seconds before the bomb was defused and he was certain he was going to die, felt the terror and horror sticking bitter to the roof of his mouth, and the blur that was everything after that, “Allura, what are you saying?”

 

“You don’t know?” She sounds heartbroken and _oh god_ , “Keith was going to sacrifice himself to try and stop Haggar.”

 

_Motherfucker._

 

Lance sees red.

 

***

 

 _[_ _Computer logs, IP 175.638.188.; 328 Earth days after leaving planet Arus ]_

 

_File #18679_ _: audio18679.mp3_

 

_To access this file, please insert your access code._

 

_loading………_

 

_Welcome, Blue Paladin._

 

_loading file………._

 

_Description: Audio recorded in medical bay, 327 Earth days, 12 hours and 17 minutes after leaving Planet Arus._

 

 _Press_ _play_ _to start._

 

_loading…….._

 

_loading……. 97% concluded….._

 

“Hey, I know, I know you can’t hear me, but, well, you know me, can’t ever shut up, right? _Right_? Oh boy, never thought I’d miss your grumpiness, but it’s not the same without your brooding.”

[ _sniffling_ ]

 

“So, hurry up in there, Mullet Man, it’s been a week already, that’s enough beauty sleep, isn’t it? It’s not like you would ever get to my level of perfection, sorry, that takes years of skin care, you know?”

 

[ _pause, shuffling_ ]

 

“Shit, I keep forgetting you’re not gonna answer me. See? More reason for you to just wake up. If you wake up now, you could make fun of my awkward pauses. Or the bags under my eyes, yeah. This is way too uncomfortable for a hospital chair, we should get a new one, since at least one of us is always on the pods. I’m not sure if that says more about us or our jobs. Well. _You,_ we already knew, are an impulsive jerk, so, no surprises there, I guess. And by the way, screw you, Keith. You _had_ to go and get in the way of that cannon, didn’t you?”

 

[ _pause, more shuffling, a muffled sob_. ]

 

“Sorry, I know you were doing what you think is right and trying to save everyone’s ass, but did you really have to risk your life like this? Allura said- [ _voice cracks_ ]- she said a few more minutes and you would’ve been too far gone for even the pods. You would be dead. _Dead,_ Keith. Gone. Done for. I, uh, I carried you here and man, you looked dead, _you weren’t breathing,_ you were there in my arms and _you weren’t breathing,_ I thought- I thought that I was too late and- ”

 

[ _pause, muffled sobs_ ].

 

“Anyway. It’s been a week, Keith. Coran’s not saying anything, but I know he’s worried, it shouldn’t take this long. We are _all_ worried. _I_ am worried, _I miss you_ . There. I said it. You can wake up now. I want my rival back. I need my _friend_ back.”

 

[ _pause, laughing quietly_ ]

 

“Oh god, I’m definitely losing it now, I’m talking _feelings_ with a comatose Keith. Okay, it’s cool, you won’t remember this anyway, right, buddy? Comatose, right. So, Shiro will probably come drag me away soon, well, at least he’s been doing it everyday, anyway. Makes me go to sleep, promised to wake me up if anything changes here. And he’d better, ‘cause I gotta be here to catch you when you fall out of this thing, Tin Man.”

 

[ _pause_ ]

 

“I’ll always be here to catch you. _Anyway._ Hurry up with the healing so you can annoy me again, and maybe I’ll tell you- ”

 

[ _door opens, footsteps, words too quiet to understand_ ].

 

“Oh hey, Shiro, yeah, yeah, I’m leaving already, I know. He’s gonna wake up soon, I can feel it this time. Night, boss.”

 

 _End of recording. Press_ _repeat_ _to play again._

 

_Are you sure you want to delete this file?_

 

 _Yes_ _Cancel_

  


_deleting file……… please do not turn off main frame……….._

 

_file deleted._

 

***

 

( when I dream on my own, I’m alone but I ain’t lonely. _For a dreamer, night’s the only time of day_ )

 

***

 

Lance knocks on the door once, twice, and waits. He taps his foot and hums under his breath; no sound from inside the room. He knocks again and now there’s soft shuffling from the other side and then it’s thrown open.

 

And Keith is now standing in the doorway, hair sticking out and eyes still blinking slowly, sleep still clinging to his edges, softening his frown. His dark shirt is wrinkled, and it’s this tiny detail that makes Lance suddenly aware it’s the middle of the night, they should all be sleeping.

 

“Lance?” Keith sounds confused, hopeful, bewildered, “what’s going on? Are we under attack-”

 

“No, nonono, no,” he snaps out of his daze, “everything’s fine, I just- can we talk?”

 

The boy blinks, rubs his eyes, lets Lance in with a yawn. He gestures his bed vaguely before sitting there himself. “So, what’s so urgent you had to wake me up?”

 

Now, let the record show Lance had a carefully well thought out 15 steps plan on how to approach this, but Keith is sitting there, a sleepy smile on his face and looking soft and vulnerable, and Lance, well, he’s just really bad at following directions, “Allura told me what happened while we were trapped in Naxzela.”

 

Silence, then understanding dawning in violet eyes, “oh. _Oh._ Listen, I did what I had to, there was no time to argu-”

 

Keith stiffens and trails off as Lance suddenly throws his arms around his neck and hugs him close. They stay like that for a minute, and Lance keeps his eyes closed, listening both their heartbeats quickening, feels Keith’s shoulder slowly relaxing and the boy buries his head on his neck, awkwardly circle his own arms around Lance.

 

“I know, but Keith,” it comes out muffled and his voice is going to crack, he knows, “you would’ve- and I wouldn’t- that’s- you can’t-”

 

The other boy chuckles, breath tickling Lance’s neck, “what, finally got you tongue-tied?” It falls flat, shivering and clearing none of the tension.

 

“Shut up,” Lance clings tighter, “you would’ve died, _died_ , for quiznack’s sake!”

 

“You keep using that word, but I don’t think it means what you think it means-”

 

“Nope, using humor to get out of uncomfortable situations is my thing,” Lance refuses to get sidetracked, “don’t go stealing my thunder again, I’m the goofball here, remember?”

 

Okay, they may have gotten slightly sidetracked here, damn it.

 

“Yeah, yeah, and I’m the lone wolf,” there’s something off in his voice, “I know.”

 

“But, here’s the thing, you don’t have to be, not anymore. You’ve got us, Keith. Hunk, Pidge, Shiro, Allura, Coran, _me_ ; we’re family. _Your_ family, you like it or not.” He pulls back, hands resting on the other boy’s shoulders, to look him in the eyes, “and please, before you put yourself in danger like that, remember this, remember you’re important to all of us, ‘cause we love you, dumbass.”

 

Keith had his eyes trained down, but when he finally looks up, Lance feels his heart _aching._ There’s fear and hurt and desperation swirling in the dark purple, a storm raging on and on, but there’s hope and relief and _hope_ , soft and light and tentative; and Lance knows, _he knows_ , wild things are hard to love, they’re broken and scarred and hurt too many times and have too many sharp edges to give out so much of their trust, but he loves, _he loves, he loves,_ and he’s reaching out and he hopes, desperately and wholeheartedly and fiercely, _he hopes_ -

 

“Lance,” Keith squeezes his eyes shut, voice cracking, “you don’t understand- I’m part _Galra_ , and you guys- you can defeat Zarkon without me, the Blade can go on without me, but we can’t do it without Voltron-”

 

“And what about us? Do you think _we_ can go on without you? _God_ , Keith, these past few months, it was like, someone had teared out a part of me and there was something missing constantly and I couldn’t figure out- I couldn’t stop thinking about you and all the dumb shit I missed; it was horrible but at least, at least I could look at the maps, all those galaxies and stars and planets and moons, and know you were out there somewhere and when you made it back, I would be able to tell you about all the stupid things you missed.” The words are falling out on their own, and Lance needs him to _understand_ , “but I can’t imagine living in an universe where you’re never coming back. That’s- that’s worse than anything Zarkon could ever do. And I know, _I know,_ everyone would agree with me. If I had to choose, I’d choose you everytime, Keith. It’s selfish, I know, but I refuse to give you up; the universe can have anything else, but not you.”

 

“I- I didn’t-”

 

Lance sees the way his shoulders begin to shake and his hands close into fists, so when Keith falls forward, Lance catches him, holding him upward as sobs wreck his body. Tears are staining his blue pajama, but Keith is clinging to him tightly, and burying his head deeper in the crook of his neck when Lance starts running a hand through his hair.

 

They lose track of time, and Lance wants to hug this boy, this beautiful and amazing and reckless boy, forever, keep him there, within arm’s reach, safe and solid and real, wants to have enough time to convince him he’s the best thing Lance ever met, ever loved. But Keith is pulling back, hands drying his face, blushing and embarrassed and tired, “thank you, I mean- sorry about that. But thanks, Lance.”

 

There are universes colliding and collapsing and bursting inside his eyes, and Lance wants to explore every star, every planet, every moon, wants to know every constellation, every galaxy, “I woke you up in the middle of the night to dump my feelings on you and then I made you cry, please don’t thank me.”

 

“You cared, and that’s- just, thank you. Don’t be difficult again.”

 

Lance laughs, and it sounds too loud and too soon, but it sounds like _them_ , sounds like hope. “Please, you love me like this.”

 

“God knows why, but I kind of do.”

 

It’s a fork in the road; Lance can laugh it off as a joke, or he can spill his truth. He looks at Keith, watches the rise and fall of his chest, the tear tracks and the red of his eyes, thinks of how warm he felt and the fear and hurt and hope in his eyes, and it’s no question at all, because Keith deserves to know. So Lance looks him in the eyes, and _drowns_ , “don’t say it unless you mean it, ‘cause for me, _love_ means _you._ ”

 

Silence stretches on and on and on and then-

 

Keith kisses like everything he does, fiercely and reckless and singlemindedly, and Lance has a sun collapsing into a supernova inside his chest, burning up and exhilarating and impossibly real.

 

“Don’t go, stay,” it’s whispered, hushed, tentative, hopeful, and how could Lance possibly say no? “ _stay.”_

 

“For as long as you want me,” he says, and kisses Keith again because this is important, he _means_ it, he needs him to know this beyond a shadow of a doubt, “for as long as you’ll have me.”

 

Keith doesn’t say _I love you_ , but Lance understands, he’s learning to be patient, he can wait, and besides, the kisses on his collarbone spells _forever_ and with their bodies pressed together, he can hear their hearts beating in tandem.

 

All he sees is sky for forever.

 

***

 

( _tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme_ )

 

***

 

_fin_

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> hey! you got to the end! Leave a kudo or comment if you liked it?
> 
> You can also come to [my tumblr](http://wearealltalesintheend.tumblr.com/) to talk about space nerdiness or those dorks.
> 
> Also, the quotes featured come from Alice in Wonderland, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, Newsies and Beauty and the Beast.


End file.
